Before I have anyone calling the press (or my mother) accusing me of supporting eating disorders, I need to clarify. When I say skinny, I mean skinny in a southern belle kind of way. My southern definition of skinny is far different than the dictionary’s definition – emaciated. Growing up in Alabama, we called people skinny that weren’t…well… obese. That is still how I use the word and view the word.

       Skinny. It’s a word that has become so many things- a compliment, insult, or a concern. When I started my weight loss journey a few years back, it concerned some people. Honestly, I didn’t tell most people I wanted to be skinny because the fact that I wanted to lose weight in general caused more than enough concern.

Fear of Weight Loss, But Not Weight Gain

It concerned me that other people didn’t want me to be skinny. Why was it that everyone was completely fine with me binge eating and gaining all the weight, but it was a touchy subject when I wanted to lose it? Suddenly, people brushed my weight gain under the rug by attributing my size to being ‘curvy’ or ‘bigger boned’. What?! I was really confused. All my life (up until this point), I had been petite and had somewhat of a boyish figure*. excluding my derriere*

Here’s proof of my boyish figure. This was taken in 8th grade when all the other girls had already grown boobs. I’m the awkward one in the green shorts with my eyes closed.

This fear of weight loss really bothered me. There were times that I would overeat in front of people who had voiced that they were uncomfortable with me dieting solely because I was anxious. I didn’t want them to worry about me. I felt like I was being watched and needed to prove to them that I wasn’t developing an eating disorder. It was extremely uncomfortable. That anxiety then led to more unhealthy eating habits. Ugh! It was so frustrating!

It still ruffles my feathers a little to look back on it. Didn’t people see how unhappy and exhausted I had become by this weight gain? Didn’t they know that we, as Americans, are at a much higher risk of hurting ourselves by overeating than under eating?? The cold, hard facts are that over 60% of Americans are hurting themselves by being overweight or obese. While only around 10% of people are suffering from an eating disorder. So why weren’t people more supportive?!

Love and Fear

There are a multitude of reasons why people may not be supportive when you mention you want to lose weight. I feel confident in saying that most of these reasons are based in love. As humans, we struggle with fear and worry- especially about the ones we love. So when some of the people who love me heard I wanted to lose weight, it was easy for fear to alter the truths in their minds. Fear caused them to believe it was safer for me to be overweight than to journey down the weight loss path. They saw me alive and functioning with an extra 50 lbs hanging off of me. It was easy to believe I was okay at that weight because I was standing right in front of them and not dying (visibly at least). Imagining me being 50 lbs lighter and healthy was much more difficult because they couldn’t see it yet. Imagining that, would require a lot of faith punching fear in the face.

If You Love Someone Who Wants To Lose Weight

If you love someone who wants to lose weight and you’re worried or anxious about it- talk to yourself, talk to God, and then talk to her (or him). Figuring out your fears and anxieties and taking them to God before another person –even if your fears and anxieties are about that person– seems to work best in every. single. situation. This is something that I am terrible at putting into practice, but I believe it so I’m preachin’ it.

Once you’ve humbled yourself and gotten some peace from God, then it’s safe and a great idea to talk to the one you’re worried about. (Maybe you aren’t worried about them anymore. If that’s the case for sure talk to them and encourage them!) Ask them about why they want to lose weight, but not in a condescending way (example of what not to say: “Why do you want to lose weight? You’re so pretty the way you are!” *Weight loss isn’t always about being pretty). The reasons why people gain weight and want to lose weight are far deeper than just loving food or wanting to alter their size. It’s good to know what they plan to lose or gain by losing the weight, and it’s important for them to share those things with peaceful, trusting friends. Fat is much bigger than fat. Weight loss is much bigger than weight loss.

If You Want To Get Skinny

If you want to get skinny, it’s important to know why you ate yourself into this place. What happened or didn’t happen? Did you become sloth-like or more like a marathon eater? If so, why? And try not to stop at just saying you were hungrier. There is a reason you were hungrier and you more than likely hungering for something that wasn’t food, but ate food anyways. What were you hungry for?

Once you’ve had that epiphany and shed some tears, it’s time to get even more vulnerable. Why do you want to get skinny? Is it to please someone else or to please you? I’ll be completely honest and tell you that when I wanted to lose weight, it was solely for myself. Everyone else that I loved would’ve loved me regardless. My brothers would’ve picked on me a little more, but they still would’ve loved me. Some people may have even loved me more, but I wanted to lose weight. I was tired of being in a love hate relationship with food. It isn’t fun being in a bad relationship with someone (or something) that you see all day every day. I was tired of feeling controlled by my stomach instead of my head and heart and I was exhausted by guilt. I didn’t want to keep feeling guilty when I looked at myself and what I had done to the healthy body that God had given me.

It’s so important to know that becoming skinny isn’t about becoming something you’re not. It’s about laying down something you were never intended to carry. For me, I had to lay down my desires to control how I felt. I had to give up reaching for immediate comforts, like foods, even though I felt uncomfortable and wanted control. I also had to lay down guilt. I had to forgive myself for my past and how I had dealt with my past. God never intended for me, or you, to carry around extra weight. He is always eager to carry it for us, but we have to lay it down. Whether it is physical, emotional, or spiritual weight, He wants us to have freedom from it. Life is hard enough without carrying extra weight on your back (or stomach, butt, and thighs). Whether that weight is 50 lbs, 20 years of guilt, or both, it’s too heavy to keep hauling it around. It’s time to lay it down and get skinny.

“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us…” Hebrews 12:1