Day 1
So today is the first day of #MY31PRAYERS which means it’s time to be honest and vulnerable about where I am with God, or the Divine, or whatever you would like to label it.
I personally use “God” and “Him”, but “God” tends to rub some people the wrong way because “God” has been forcefully shoved down their throats in the past. In order to not bring back any traumatic memories of force-fed religion, I’m going to call Him the Divine for this blog series.
So where am I with the Divine? Hmm… I would say on the rocks, but getting better. I have been in the highest highs with the Divine- and the lowest lows. I am in neither of those places now. When you have been so close to the Divine that you’re comfortable laying in the floor praying at worship conferences while people dance around you, it’s weird feeling uncomfortable with simple church things that are much more acceptable and “normal”. Nonetheless, I am in a place of learning how to connect with the Divine while being comfortable again.
Am I still not making sense? Well, think of it his way… Have you ever had and ex that you reconnected with? Like someone that you were so in love with then, things got rough, you went separate ways, and then you reconnected later on? If so, maybe you’ll understand the state that I’m in. Imagine that I am in a similar situation with the Divine and although we have been through so much, right now we aren’t talking about the breakup or how it all fell apart, we are simply just enjoying each others’ company. We are hanging out and talking, but not about anything too deep.
This journey for me will not be about going back to the spiritual highs of my past, but instead walking to new heights in new ways. I’d like to get really comfortable with the Divine again during this journey, because obviously once I reach a new high I’d like to dance around up there with Him.
(Also, throughout this journey, I will be doing the IF:Gathering study called The Hardest Thing: A study of the difficult sayings of Jesus. Luckily, I have some awesome friends who are doing this study with me. It’s not one I’d want to do alone. We will also be holding each other accountable. If you’d like some accountability because you are like me and forget things even when they mean so much to you- feel free to comment below or contact me and I will do my very best to remind each of you about doing #MY31PRAYERS each day.)
Much love to you through this journey!
Embrace this place 