Are social media posts becoming our generation’s diamonds?

My answer is maybe. For some of you, I’m about to really spoil something that has a super strong association in your mind, so beware. Diamonds only became a symbol of love and engagement about a century ago. Women receiving diamonds as a symbol of their significant other’s “Forever Love” is solely a result of possibly the very best advertising campaign ever. I could go on-and-on about diamonds and how we’ve made this purchase an absolute necessity for men to receive our fathers’ blessings and our “I do”s, but I just can’t. If you can handle offensive language, you can watch the short video on YouTube of Why Engagement Rings are a Scam to find out more. I personally cannot, and will not, make any judgments on people’s decisions to give/receive diamonds or not. Some days, I dream of alternative ways of one day becoming engaged and other days, I’m singing, If you like it then you better put a [diamond] ring on it. So, seriously. No judgment here.
The point is that our culture has made diamonds a must. If a man really loves his woman, she must have a diamond. If she doesn’t have a diamond, he doesn’t really love her or he isn’t committed to her, or maybe he is just a lazy no-good man. Can you believe diamond advertising has been so ingrained in our minds that these are real life thoughts we think?!? 
Now let’s look at social media posts. 

There are all kinds of studies out there on the subject of what it means when people do or do not post on social media about their significant other. Some people believe that couples that post about their baes all the time are over compensating for the lack of love they are really feeling in their relationships. Others believe that people post what they are excited about, and posts about their significant others are no different. From the articles I’ve read and my personal experience, I think we all just need to stop. Stop making social media posts a must to feel loved, and definitely stop judging the people who want to daily shout from the intereb rooftops about their love. 

People are different and people express their love in different ways, and that is okay. 

This subject is important to me because I am an interweb-rooftop-screamer by nature. When my boyfriend and I started dating, I wanted to constantly let everyone know how he hung the moon and how I loved him so much for it. Then, I realized he never really posted about me. Even when he did, he wasn’t explicit about all the ways I was soooo great, funny, beautiful, and perfect in every way. (That’s a joke…kinda. haha) Eventually, comparison was mixed in with growing pains and life being tough. My emotions started bubbling up like a bad chemistry project. I felt extremely unloved and unappreciated because of a lack of social media shoutouts. I started ignoring all the moments that I had a Godly man’s shoulder to cry on to criticize his lack of social media affection towards me. It was really not good. My criticisms overflowed from social media insecurities into all aspects of our relationship. It was toxic.

So why did this bother me so much? Why did it hurt me so deeply? Because somewhere along the Millennial path I’m on, it became ingrained into my mind that people who love each other must post about each other. If a man really loves a woman, he must tell the world through various social media outlets. If a man doesn’t post about her, he doesn’t really love her or he isn’t committed to her, or maybe he is just a lazy, no-good man. 

The truth is, a man can absolutely adore the woman he is with and not post about her. A man can be committed and care in so many ways that aren’t visible through Facebook or diamonds. 

If the-one-you-love loves you well and expresses it on Facebook or by putting a diamond ring on it, I genuinely mean it when I say, “get it, girl. Getitgetit, giiiirl.”

If the-one-you-love loves you well and expresses it in quiet by being patient when you’re not and a Godly leader when you’re not, I again genuinely mean it when I say, “get it, girl. Getitgetit, giiirl.”

(If the-one-you-love does it all… I just can’t even. You’re #blessed.)

A man’s love cannot (and should not) be measured by the diamond he gives or the number of posts on social media. Advertising is great, but when we allow businesses or other people’s relationships to define what love must look like, it’s easy to let comparison steal our joy. 

I hope we can all be better at measuring love by love and not the rings, blings, and social media things.