Since I got back to the USA after a year of living and working abroad, things have been crazy. I have been back since July 10th but I haven’t written until now. I have postponed blogging because of the crazy events that have taken place, but now I’m ready to open up about it all and move forward.
My mom and I on Christmas Eve
Within a few days of my “recovering” from jetlag, I received a teaching job at a wonderful, Christian academy! It was such a blessing, but also a little overwhelming. I was hired one day after I was supposed to start working. I felt completely out of my element coming from teaching English overseas to now teaching a foreign language (that I hadn’t used in years) and yearbook (a class I had never taken) in an American school (a setting where I had only done my practicum hours). Then, in the midst of this blessed opportunity, the overwhelming feelings worsened. During my first day of my new job, my mom was diagnosed with breast cancer. My world was turned upside down. For the first time in my entire life, I realized that the woman who had been the most constant presence in my life was not invincible. My constant suddenly became someone I could lose. I was wrecked.
Although I was wrecked, I somehow kept moving forward. Looking back, it’s all a blur. I don’t remember how I made it through my classes without bursting into tears. As a cherry on top of my emotionally distressed sundae, during that first week, deer ticks bit my dog and I both. My poor puppy’s paw swelled up so badly that he couldn’t walk on it and he had to have a minor outpatient surgery. Great news though-he didn’t contract Lyme disease and has recovered like a champ (thanks to East Side Animal Hospital). With everything that was going on, I forgot to even go to the doctor about my own tick bite.
Charlie after his little surgery
During my first and second month of teaching, I was so exhausted. I spent zero time on myself because I felt that I just didn’t have the time. I would stay up until 2-3 am at least 1 night a week just to keep my head above water at work. On weekends I would sleep 12-14 hours straight and I never exercised. I thought this was just my body still battling jetlag and that I possibly had just become lazy overseas. I attributed my exhaustion and headaches to working hard like a “true American” should (seriously. I know that sounds dumb, but I really just thought this is what life looks like for Americans who work hard). Then my face broke out… bad.
I developed this terrible rash all over my face and scalp that for some reason wouldn’t heal. A week after medications and shots, the infection had worsened and was causing pain throughout my neck and body aches all over. I returned to the doctor and she treated me for MRSA. A few days later, things progressed and my pain intensified rather than eased. I was only getting up to use the bathroom and to drink shakes, juices, and water. Whenever I stood up, it felt like I had rods through my brain. It was terrible.
I eventually thought about the tick bite and realized that I never mentioned that to my doctor. My mother called my doctor to let her know and the doctor told us to come right back in to see her. At that time, she ordered tons of blood work and started treating me for Lyme disease. PTL that my doctor starting treating me before we had confirmation on the Lyme because with treatment I started getting better, but my migraine headaches lingered.
Fast forward through a lot more blood work, my body producing Lyme antibodies then later testing negative for Lyme, MRIs, Infectious Disease doctors, Neurologist appointments, and scary moments of not knowing what was attacking my body.
This is my brain and those two tiny dots are the damage caused by my headaches. I didn’t even know that was possible.
Finally, I was officially diagnosed with Chronic Migraines that had actually damaged my brain. I was prescribed Topomax and Maxalt for the migraines so that I could stop taking the pain medicine, muscle relaxers and vertigo medications I had been taking to survive my days. Unfortunately, those two medications didn’t work for me. I had terrible reactions to them. I didn’t understand how all this could happen so quickly and I had no idea why. Why would I have chronic migraines?? What is causing this? Why am I supposed to just take medicine for it every day instead figuring out why I’m even having this issue??
I felt defeated and hopeless. Thoughts like, “..only God can help me now and He isn’t…” went through my mind. Then, the big Man upstairs reminded me I am perfectly capable of helping myself.
The next week, I decided that I had to take control of my health again. I had to make health & wellness a top priority in my life. If the medications weren’t going to help me, I had do anything and everything I could to get healthy so that my body could help its self. So I made the mental decision that no matter how I was feeling that on that day, I was running after work.
By the time I got home that day, I had a migraine. I could barely stand to even look at my phone. It was freezing cold outside and it had started to rain as soon as I got changed into my running gear. It’s like the world wanted me to crawl into bed and feel sorry for myself like I had done so many times before. BUT something changed in me at that moment that reflected my favorite quote by Anais Nin.
“And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.”
It became too painful for me to accept this chronic illness diagnosis and bundle up with my migraine. I had to break out of what had become routine for me. I had to blossom.
So I ran. I started out cold and hurting, but I ran. My body heated up and my head cooled down as the ice-cold rain drenching my hair and scalp. Eventually (around mile 3), I hit a state of euphoria and pain relief. I no longer felt my migraine. I no longer felt defeated. Don’t get me wrong, my legs and lungs seemed to be singing an emo, screamo song about how mad they were at me, but I felt strong and in control of my health. The mental Beyonce/Rachel Platt/Kesha mash-up song of victory was 1000x louder!
As I jogged along in that euphoric state of mind, I remembered my weight loss journey. I remembered the first time I felt powerful enough able to overcome obstacles. I realized that one of the first times I had ever felt like a GirlBoss and capable of overcoming obstacle happened years ago when had I started doing the Turbofire workouts by Beachbody. I remembered that with every pound I lost, I gained self-confidence—not only in my physical appearance, but more importantly within my abilities to work hard and meet goals.
Since then, I have been praying about what I can do to use my almost 60lbs of weight loss and confidence gained every single day. As I refocus my life on health and wellness, I want to encourage and coach others on how to do the same. It is a blessing that I have learned the power of my mind over matter and I want to help others discover that too. I thrive on helping others and seeing people feel empowered in their lives so I’ve been scheduling and training to become a health and wellness coach. I’m choosing to blossom.
After researching and reading about different companies, I’ve made my choice and I’m happy to say I’m now officially a Beachbody Coach!
I am so excited to be working for a company who’s programs work!! I am walking proof that Beachbody Workouts not only give you the physical results that last long after you finish their programs, but they also give you the confidence within yourself to help you excel and succeed in every area of life!
So as I continue my refocused lifestyle to one that is focused on being strong and healthy in every area of life, I’d love to have some accountability and friends along side of me!
Now Beachbody because they have Beachbody On Demand (think Netflix for workouts!!)! I am so excited about it! If you’d like to join me for some accountability, encouragement, and fun- I would love it! Just comment or message me and we can get connected! And if you’d just like to check it out and watch, feel free to follow my fitness journey on Instagram @EmbraceThisPlaceFitness
Embrace this place 