I’m afraid of heights, but it’s not a typical fear of heights. See… I absolutely love to fly. It doesn’t scare me, but standing, waking, or really any elevated activity that requires me to rely on my own two feet terrifies me…

…Which is why it was crazy that I said, “Yeah! Of course!!” When John Oubre asked me to hike the 2^nd highest peak in Antigua with him on our off day. It could’ve been his cool hair, his excitement for adventure, or just my eagerness to do something different; but whatever it was, I agreed to go.

When John Oubre came by my room early that Friday morning, I’m pretty sure I was panicking to Kaylee (or just in my mind) asking, ”how will I avoid freaking out about the heights (or really anything) in front of John?!?”, because whatever it was that made me say, “yes, of course” in the first place, had also caused me to overlook that Kaylee couldn’t join us because she had injured her ankle. This meant I was suddenly hiking who knows how high (or where at) with John Oubre AND I was going alone.

It wasn’t until we arrived at Fig Tree Studio (where the hike started) that I realized the hike wasn’t just John Oubre and I. We had an experienced guide AND the guide’s son came along to guide us as well.

Throughout the hike, we learned so much! The son would go up ahead of us and lead for a while and his father would move to the back and then they would switch. They would stop and teach us about various plants, tell us the folktales that surrounded their names, and guide our steps so we wouldn’t fall. The father and his son surrounded us at all times to protect us.

It was amazing!

After about an hour or two (I’m really not sure), we reached this…

Woah.

We couldn’t believe it! It was amazing. It’s like we were somehow in the heavens and in the middle of God’s green earth all at the same time. We were so excited! We couldn’t wipe the smiles off of our faces. John would take pictures of me & then I’d take pictures of him. We were just in awe of the height that we had reached after starting from the low valley.

After about 20 minutes, our guide asked us, ” So, are you ready to go to the top now?”

We both looked at each other with excitement & confusion. Then, practically in unison said, “what?? I thought this was the top?”

Our guide chuckled a little and said, ” No. There is much more to see up ahead.” John Oubre & I made it very clear we wanted to keep going to the top & then looked at each other again- this time with excitement, eagerness, & and murmurs of “what the heck?! This is so awesome!”

I honestly don’t even remember the journey from our first peak to the highest peak, but once we arrived, we knew we had reached new heights.

At the top,. It was more beautiful and amazing than the first stop, which was something we couldn’t have even imagined.

At that height, everything was much clearer. As we looked out, our guide and his son pointed out where we had come from on the island and pointed out the paths we had taken to reach the top. When looking down on Jolly Harbor (where our group was staying) I felt strangely connected & disconnected at the same time. On one side, I felt connect to the people below because I could see where they were & my heart was for them, but on the other hand, I felt at peace with this distance between us because the height I had reached felt sacred. I felt nearness with God and fullness within myself.

That day continued into the night with the same amount of overflowing blessings, adventure, & excitement. When John Oubre and I returned to the group for dinner, we couldn’t wait to tell others about how amazing it had all been & how God had showed up over & over again.

At John Oubre’s visitation yesterday, I lost it when I saw this picture from our hike…

It broke my heart that the only one who I shared that life-changing hike with is no longer here. It made me feel extremely lonely so I started to pray.

Then God opened my eyes to the biggest story of our hike…

I realized that our hike was very much like life. Sometimes heights are scary- especially when we are trusting our own two feet. Sometimes we can overthink the height & get anxious over nothing at all. Or worse, we decide not to hike at all. Also, hiking to new heights is fun- even when it’s hard- if you surround yourself with good company who are heading to the same place.

But most importantly,

heights aren’t scary when you have a good guide that you trust.

John Oubre had made God & His son, Jesus, his guides. John trusted those two to take him to new places, and they did. John Oubre ended up in Antigua by following his Guides & he was amazed at the height he had reached. John saw a glimpse of heaven in that new height & I believe he felt connect to heaven on earth while serving others and caring for children in Antigua.

He loved that height so much that he was ready to give up everything in order to be there, to feel the nearness to God and to feel heaven on earth, but God had even more for John Oubre.

I felt like I could picture it all as though God said to John Oubre,

“So are you ready to go to the top now?”

And John looked at God with excitement & confusion and asked, “What?? I thought this was the top?”  And with a gentle, loving chuckle God replied,

“No, there is much more to see up ahead…”

John Oubre,

I always knew you were precious-from our kissy duck faces in high school, to kissing on little babies last month at my fundraiser- I saw how far we had both come in our lives.

I am forever blessed to have seen you reach new heights and to have spent time with you at your new height and I am so proud of you and your heart!! I’m so thankful that we are on the same path with the same guides so I can be confident that I will see you again at that final height. You changed my life for the better & reminded me of who I want to be. Thank you for everything!

Happy Birthday, John Oubre.

If you would like to help continue the work John Oubre started in Antigua or read more about it, please visit the John Oubre Henderson Foundation’s website at:

www.JohnOubre4Antigua.org